Why I Will Never Be A Feminist

Hayden Ward Photography
Hayden Ward Photography

Quite recently, I have began to notice that feminism is becoming a trend.  It seems like no matter where I am, or what I am doing, feminism seems to be right around the corner.  I see it when I watch TV, I see it on my phone, I see it at work, my friends are feminists.  Basically, it’s EVERYWHERE.

This is something that has been happening for a while, but I feel lately it has escalated rapidly.  I have noticed it even more now that I am married.  I was always indifferent to feminism and just assumed it wasn’t a big deal.  But this is something that has gone way out of control.

I completely understand why feminism started, and the idea behind it.  I think there’s nothing wrong with the women who fought for the right to vote or women who fought for equality,  but I believe it has turned into something completely inappropriate.  Instead of women standing up for what they believe in, they are bashing men left and right, and tearing down others who don’t agree with them.  I am honestly shocked at the behavior of them, even people I have known for a while.

My husband and I were watching a show, and the only people with good-paying jobs were women, and the only men who actually had jobs were the “dumb assistants” who didn’t know how to do anything and were completely incompetent.  It degraded men and showed that they were useless, and that women can do far better than men.

In the new movie “Ghostbusters” it stars women, and how only the women saved the day.  And guess what? They hired an assistant for them, who was a man.  He was a complete idiot and actually screwed up everything, didn’t help, and they ended up having to save him in the end.

On Facebook, I watched a popular video that was trending. The entire video was a wife in bed, rejecting a man repeatedly in “funny” ways, saying things like “Are you serious?”, and “I did 18 loads of laundry today”.  After about 20 seconds I couldn’t watch it anymore.  It was disgusting.  The same woman made another video telling her husband over and over in “funny” ways why he wasn’t that sick and he needed to stop being a wimp.  Yeah, guess what? Doing housework all day, and taking care of kids all day is exhausting…but so is having a full-time job.  Women are complaining that their husbands get to go to work every day and don’t even offer to help out at home.  Excuse me, do you go to your husband’s work and offer to help file his paperwork, and make calls for him? Didn’t think so. So don’t get angry if he comes home exhausted and doesn’t offer to spring clean your whole house for you.   Marriage is about taking care of each other, and lifting each other up, and I feel no one does that anymore.

In another show I watch, a woman was the head of her law firm and was portrayed as super powerful and not to be messed with.  She had a husband at home who started to feel neglected and they eventually got divorced because her marriage was getting in the way of her career.  This is NOT okay.  Men don’t “hold women back” and I am honestly so sick of this trend that men are just useless creatures that get in the way of things and aren’t needed.

Right after I got married, people were asking me left and right if I had a job.  When I told them I didn’t, they looked so confused.  They thought it was so odd that I would actually want to stay at home, clean, cook, etc.  I did actually end up getting a job just because it helped me get out of the house, and I just liked working.  However, I was getting about 30-35 hours a week and was coming home exhausted.  I couldn’t keep up with my house anymore and it was becoming a mess because I was so drained at the end of the day.  I didn’t have time to make meals or take care of my husband who actually is the sole-provider.  I ended up having to ask for less hours because of how it was affecting my life outside of work.

At my own job,  I had mentioned that I had to go home and take care of my husband, and the women around me immediately started to complain about what “babies” and “wimps” men were and how they didn’t need to be “taken care of”.  I was honestly so hurt, and super horrified.  No wonder marriages don’t last anymore.  Women have got the idea that men don’t need respect at all which is NOT true.   My husband works SO hard at his job and by the end of the day he is usually completely exhausted.  I take care of him, bring him food, if he has a headache I put a cold towel on his head.  I am always making sure I am telling him uplifting things and making sure he is appreciated so he has the strength to keep working and providing for us every day.  I am always trying to come up with creative gifts for him instead of just sitting and expecting a gift on our anniversary while doing nothing for him in return.  I have realized the more I have done this, the more energy he has to surprise me with things like cleaning the house, bringing me home gifts, and just making more money for our family.

In my own opinion, women are naturally made to be nurturers and men are meant to go out and provide.  It’s been that way ever since humans were on the earth.  Since the beginning of time, men would go out and hunt for food, while the women stay at home and take care of their children.  I am not saying all men and women have to be this way, and maybe some households are structured differently where the woman is the provider.  My main point is that women should never abandon their marriages because of their job. Women started out fighting for equality, but they have gone so far over the line, they are doing the very thing they hated in the first place: getting put down, and feeling like they are not good enough. Women need men, and men need women.  Men and women may have different strengths and weaknesses, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t equal, and it definitely doesn’t mean we should be putting each other down.

It was our 6 monthiversary on the 10th!
It was our 6 monthiversary on the 10th!

 

 

Comments

  1. Bri! This is a amazing article! What great insight! Thank you for sharing this! You are absolutely right on on this subject! Thank you for being wise beyond your years and taking your role as a woman and a wife so seriously. The world would be a better place if all women followed your advice. Your a beautiful woman! Thank you for loving my Son.
    Wendy

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    1. SunnyBri says:

      Thank you Wendy! You are so kind! I’m so lucky to have you as a mother-in-law! 🙂

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  2. Jenny says:

    I grew up in a household where my mother was the primary bread-winner. Both my parents worked full-time 8 hours a day, but my mom would come home every day just as exhausted as my dad, and she would still make dinner, do the dishes, do laundry, and send my brother and me to practice every night – she’s truly a wonder woman. If my dad didn’t offer to help her out because “these duties were traditionally taken care of by women”, that would make him a huge dick. Holding white collar jobs and voting weren’t traditionally roles held by women either. Feminism isn’t about putting men down, it’s about making sure that women have equal opportunities with men and sometimes breaking “tradition”. There’s nothing wrong with keeping to tradition, but it should also be acceptable to blur the lines of what men and women can do, and we shouldn’t discriminate what can and can’t be done just by someone just because of their gender.

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    1. SunnyBri says:

      Your mom sounds like a really amazing woman! I understand what you are saying, and I did say in my post that not all households have to be run the same. I totally understand that every situation is different. I also don’t think that men should leave all of the household chores to the women. My husband helps me out all the time, especially when I’m having a really hard day. I understand that feminism started to create equality between both genders (and I am all for that), but, in my own opinion, it is not what it used to be. I think it has really gotten out of hand and it is only doing the opposite: creating more hate and chaos.

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